ONCE AN ANNIVERSARY, NOW A MEMORY OF HOPE

“ONCE AN ANNIVERSARY, NOW A MEMORY OF HOPE!”

Today, would have been our 36^th Wedding Anniversary, and I marked the event by placing a red rose at your grave, visiting my parents and my baby sister’s graves as well with our oldest son, before kneeling in Adoration before the Lord, pouring out any sadness felt, for I am so grateful you made it Home.

I knew the Romanian custom was to visit one’s grave often, as my Dad’s parents taught us, but when my baby sister died, who is my parents fourth child, it broke my Mom’s heart. After the third visit, my Dad would go alone for he could not bear to see the torment that would bring back the nightmares that would plague her. My precious Mom died only a year ago, but she shared with me just after my Dad passed, her nightmare that plagued for years after my sister’s passing. It dealt with the guilt she had second guessing herself about whether to place my sister’s baby blanket on her. Her mother talked her out of it making a cruel comment that the baby was dead and it would not matter. The nightmare was her being woken up to my sister’s crying because she was cold. My Mom said, she knew it was not of God and worked hard to let it go, but shared that once I had her first grandbaby, the dreams never came back except for once, just two years after my Dad passed away. Mom shared that the dream continued with my Dad holding both my sisters’ hands. One young lady on either side, and she recognized them instantly. She said it brought tremendous peace, knowing he was there with their babies, who were young adults standing on either side of him.

Because of my Mom’s apprehension about goin to the graveside, and though we have a large family, and have attended and cantored many funerals throughout my life, I never feared death so much as visiting the grave.

In the past four (4) years, my oldest son, embracing our Romanian background, both culture and music and found solace in visiting his Dad and Grandpa and as of late Grandma at their respective resting places. I to had a calling to go visit them all this past Christmas 2020. Though tears inevitably come as I loved them so very much, I could feel the Lord embracing and healing my heart. Slowly filling the gaping hole that was so raw.

These past months, positive messages about why one would visit a loved one’s grave and the history behind the practice have just popped up, and I was intrigued by the positivity of the action. The most positive of them all, besides learning many Graces are showered on those who consciously remember their loved ones in this way was from the Jewish Tradition for their understanding of this practice is understood by [1] Visiting the gravesite expresses respect for the departed, shows that their memory has not been forgotten, and reinforces one’s connection to them.

It is considered a great merit to pray at the gravesite of a loved one and that of a great Torah sage, for we are taught that a portion of the soul is always present at the gravesite.

Throughout Jewish history, in times of need, trouble or distress, people would go to a Jewish cemetery and pray to G‑d, invoking the merits of the deceased and requesting that they intercede in the Heavens, and carry the prayers to G‑d.

One also visits the gravesite to pray for the elevation of the departed soul.

This touched my very soul, both, by receiving such Peace in the midst of remembering my loved ones, as well as the positive reasons why one would even consider remembering a loved one in such a way.

Thank you, Jesus, for helping me remember on this day that was once my wedding anniversary. Thank you for reminding me of all the love I have been given from my loved ones who have gone Home to be with You and for leaving me with the memory of Hope.

In Loving Memory of My Husband, Baby Sister & Mom & Dad+